


Introduction to Unconscious Bias

by theimprobable1



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Jealous Troy, Jealousy, M/M, Oblivious Troy, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:55:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25993276
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theimprobable1/pseuds/theimprobable1
Summary: Five times Troy thought he was being homophobic, and one time he realized he was jealous.
Relationships: Abed Nadir/Original Male Character(s), Troy Barnes & Britta Perry, Troy Barnes/Abed Nadir
Comments: 47
Kudos: 420





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was subconsciously inspired by this [adorable reddit story](https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/straight-guy-worries-hes-homophobic-gay-roommate-ends-falling-love/#gs.37wbsi).
> 
> Set during Season 3, starting with episode 6 - Advanced Gay.

**1**

After Pierce’s declaration that from now on Hawthorne Wipes would be a straights-only product, followed by his fake heart attack, the party pretty much breaks up. People start leaving, some of them muttering about alternative wet wipe brands they will be using from now on. It’s a shame - Troy barely had any time to enjoy the party, what with plumbers and air-conditioning repairmen ruining his fun. There’s a lot of leftover chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies, though, and Troy doesn’t want to let them go to waste, so he spends some time trying to eat as many of them as he can and stuffing the rest in his pockets. By the time he’s done, Abed is no longer at their table. Troy scans the now half-empty cafeteria and finds him leaning against a wall, talking to a blond guy in tight jeans and an even tighter tank top who’s all up in his personal space.

Troy wastes no time marching over there. Who does that guy think he is, crowding Abed against the wall like that?

“Hey, Abed,” he says loudly as soon as he gets close. “Ready to go home?”

The guy turns his head slightly to look at him before Abed does, giving Troy a brief once-over. His eyes are thick with eyeliner.

“Is that your boyfriend?” he asks Abed, his lips curling slightly as he says it, and what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

“No,” Abed replies simply before looking back at Troy. “You go ahead, I’ll catch up.”

What the fuck is _that_ supposed to mean?

“Okay,” Troy says haltingly, looking between Abed and Guyliner, who smirks and leans a little closer to Abed. Abed shows no sign of being bothered by that. Troy tries to come up with something else to say, anything to make Abed leave with him, but his brain feels entirely blank and his mouth doesn’t remember how to form words, so he just nods at Abed, and walks away.

He walks away, even though it feels like his feet weigh a ton. Why would Abed want to stay there with a dude who was obviously gay and obviously into him? He’s made it all the way out of the cafeteria by the time it occurs to him that maybe Abed doesn’t realize that. You don’t often see a man flirting with another man on TV; Abed could have missed that. He told Troy once about the man who’d hit on him on Troy’s birthday last year, and that it had taken him a while to realize what was going on. Maybe this is the same thing, and Troy just left him there.

He turns on his heel and walks back, ready to save Abed from a potential creep. No one’s throwing a drink in Abed’s face tonight, not on Troy’s watch, he thinks furiously, and then stops in his tracks.

Abed and Guyliner are kissing.

Troy’s first instinct is to run over there, pull them apart and punch Guyliner in the face for forcing himself on Abed, except it’s immediately obvious that that’s not what’s happening. One of Abed’s hands is in Guyliner’s hair, the other on his hip, and he’s kissing back enthusiastically, definitely not pushing him away. He doesn’t need saving.

Troy’s stomach roils.

“This party’s hot,” says Leonard, who’s materialized next to Troy, watching Abed and Guyliner with interest and stuffing his face with popcorn.

“Shut up, Leonard,” Troy says automatically. “Everyone knows you like wearing women’s underwear.”

Leonard shrugs. “At least I’m not a homophobe.”

“I’m not-- !” Troy gasps, offended, but then he notices Abed’s hand sneaking down to Guyliner’s butt, and yep, Troy’s definitely going to be sick.

He hurries out of the cafeteria, trying to swallow down the wave of nausea. It’s just the cookies. He’s not homophobic! He’s never had any problem with gay people. He had a great time at the gay party! It’s just that he’s had too many cookies. And he’s understandably upset that Abed never told him he was gay. He has a right to be upset about that - they’re supposed to tell each other everything! Why didn’t Abed tell him? Did he not trust Troy to be fine with it? Troy’s totally fine with it! If Abed wants to stick his tongue down some pretty boy’s throat, that’s his business. Troy doesn’t care. He doesn’t care!

Abed doesn’t “catch up” with Troy. In fact, Troy’s been home for over an hour by the time he gets back (not that Troy’s been keeping track or anything).

“Do you want buttered noodles? I’m starving,” Abed says, making a beeline for the kitchen like nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Maybe nothing has. Maybe Abed goes around kissing guys all the time and Troy just never noticed.

“I’m good, thanks,” Troy mumbles. He’s still feeling the cookies.

He watches Abed as he fills a pot with water and sets it on the stove. He looks… normal. Nothing about him indicates that he’s just kissed a man. ~~And probably done other stuff with a man.~~

“Who was that guy?” Troy asks, unable to help himself.

“Harry,” Abed replies without missing a beat. “Or possibly Larry, I didn’t really catch it.”

Somehow, the fact that Abed doesn’t even know Guyliner’s name makes Troy feel a little bit better. Not a lot, though.

“You kissed him,” Troy says, and he sounds accusatory even to his own ears. “I saw you.”

This time, Abed stills for a split second as he adds salt to the pot, but nothing shows on his face and when he speaks his tone is entirely even. “I did, yes.”

“You never told me you were gay.”

Abed looks him firmly in the eye. “That’s because I’m not. You know I’ve been involved with both men and women.”

Troy gapes at him. _What?_ “I don’t know that! How would I know that? You never told me!”

“Yes, I did,” Abed says, but then his eyebrows draw together as he thinks of something. “Oh, I see what happened. You assumed Kim was a girl based on his name. Sorry for accidentally misleading you, I should’ve thought of that.”

Troy blinks. He remembers being annoyed a few months ago that Abed couldn’t play _Assassin’s Creed_ with him because he was going out with ‘Kim from his creative writing class’. Afterwards, Troy had asked him how his date had gone, and Abed said something like fine but they probably weren’t going to see each other again, and that was it. Just one of Abed’s occasional short-lived side adventures that ultimately didn’t mean anything. Except it did.

“Kim was a guy?” he splutters. “Who names a guy _Kim?!”_

“His parents, I assume. I never asked him.”

Maybe Troy _is_ homophobic, because he doesn’t remember feeling so… _something_ about Kim when he thought he was a girl. But he can’t be, because Abed is his friend, the most important person in his life, and it’s Troy's job to be supportive of him no matter what, so _he can’t be._

“So, um,” he says awkwardly, not knowing where to look. “You’re… bisexual?” The word feels strange and unfamiliar on his tongue.

“That’s a possible word for it, yes. Is that a problem?”

“No!” Troy says quickly. It’s not a problem. It can’t be a problem. “Of course not! I was just… surprised, that’s all. I don’t care who you sleep with.”

He’s not sure that was the right thing to say, because Abed says nothing and turns away from him to add pasta to the boiling water.

“So… this Harry or Larry,” Troy says after a moment of silence that feels very close to uncomfortable. “Are you going to see him again?” he asks to show how very much not a problem it is. 

“I don’t think so,” Abed says, disinterested. “Turns out he goes to City College and only sneaked in for the party because he’s a fan of Urbana Champaign.”

Abed doesn’t sound particularly affected, and Troy feels himself relax a little. Surely he can cope with Abed occasionally hooking up with a guy. That’s all it is. Abed has never shown much interest in an actual relationship, or made any effort to get with someone. Sometimes people hit on him because he’s objectively very attractive, and sometimes Abed says yes when he feels like it. It makes no difference if sometimes the person Abed says yes to is a man. They’ll probably never be heard from again because they won’t make any effort to understand Abed as a person, like Troy does. It’s fine. Troy isn’t going to be weird about it.

Still, it’s sort of a relief when Jeff texts to tell them that Pierce’s father had a real heart attack, and they can stop talking about Abed’s sex life.


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

“Food’s here!” Abed calls as he enters the apartment, a plastic bag full of Chinese food in each hand.

“Yay!” Annie squeals and runs to him to take the bags from him, leaving Troy to finish laying the table. It’s the one-month anniversary of Annie living with them, so they’re having a fancy dinner to celebrate. Fancy meaning they’ll put the food on actual plates instead of eating straight out of the containers, which in Troy’s opinion makes it taste less good, but Annie likes it that way, and that kind of makes it worth it.

Annie brings the bags to the table while Abed takes off his coat, and starts taking out the containers. The receipt flutters out of the bag and Troy notices there’s something scribbled on it before Annie picks it up. 

“Abed?” she says, a small amused smile on her lips. “Looks like a ‘Patrick’ gave you his phone number.”

“Oh,” Abed says, walking up to the table and taking the receipt from her. “I was wondering if he would. Nice.” He puts the receipt in the pocket of his hoodie.

Annie blinks, clearly not having expected this reaction. She looks at Troy with wide eyes, as if searching for confirmation that she understood correctly. Troy shrugs and looks away. He’s suddenly not feeling very hungry at all.

“Oh, um,” Annie mumbles awkwardly, then shakes herself. “Are you going to text him?”

“Maybe,” Abed says as he starts scooping out fried rice on his plate. “He was cute. Pretty eyes. Dimples.”

“Aww, I love guys with dimples!” Annie coos, all of her surprise replaced by excitement. And that, Troy thinks, is how a non-homophobic person reacts to finding out their friend likes someone of the same gender. Annie is just happy that a cute person likes Abed, while Troy is trying to burn a hole in Abed’s pocket with his eyes and then burn the piece of paper with some dude’s number on it. It doesn’t work, which is probably for the best, since Troy wouldn’t want to accidentally burn Abed’s skin too, and also Abed really likes this hoodie and probably wouldn’t thank Troy for ruining it. He forces himself to tear his gaze away. Abed can text whoever he likes, even if that person happens to be a guy. It’s none of Troy's business.

“Did you get spring rolls?” he asks, perhaps a little too loudly, before this can turn into Abed and Annie talking about their taste in men.


	3. Chapter 3

**3**

Troy’s last dance class of the year gets unexpectedly canceled, which is why he gets home more than two hours early. He’s looking forward to his free afternoon, thinking it would be a good opportunity for him and Abed to try out some new costumes in the Dreamatorium, except when he unlocks the door and enters the apartment, he finds a shirtless Abed sitting on the couch, with an equally shirtless Chinese man straddling his lap.

“Troy. You’re back early,” Abed says evenly, like Troy caught him rearranging his DVD collection and not making out with some half-naked dude. _In their living room!_ Abed’s hair is mussed up and his lips look all kiss-swollen and Troy wants to scream and puke at the same time. At least the guy has the decency to look embarrassed.

“Sorry!” Troy yelps. “Gotta go!”

He slams the apartment door and races down the stairs, nearly colliding with a neighbor in the entryway. What the fuck! Is this what Abed does when he has the apartment to himself? He brings guys home? Troy mostly just watches _The Real World!_

What if Troy had stopped somewhere on the way home and come in a little later? Would he have found them both fully naked, Abed doing stuff to another guy’s butt right there on their couch? Or in their blanket fort? He sees it in his mind in graphic detail like a shot from a cheap porno, and he has to stop and brace a hand against the wall of the building, breathing deeply as he tries to keep the queasiness at bay.

Why is he thinking about that? What’s the matter with him? Is he truly so disgusted by the idea of sex between two men? There’s nothing wrong with it! He doesn’t genuinely think there’s anything wrong with it! Except clearly he does, otherwise the thought wouldn’t make him sick. Maybe he’s one of those people who only act like they’re okay with gay people as long as there aren’t any actual gay people in their actual lives. Or bisexual people, whatever. He needs to get over himself.

He ends up staying out long past the time his dance class would have ended, trying to walk out the weird feeling in his stomach. When he finally gets home, he finds Abed in the blanket fort, highlighting things in his French New Wave textbook.

“Hey, buddy,” he says awkwardly. “Sorry about earlier.”

Abed looks up from his textbook. “Getting walked in on is a sitcom staple,” he says, which means that he doesn’t mind. “But I’m sorry if you were embarrassed. I didn’t think you’d be back until later.”

“Dance class got canceled,” Troy explains, even though Abed must have figured that out. “Listen, um. Do you think maybe we should have some sort of rule about bringing people home? I’d rather avoid walking in on some naked dude in the future.”

He wonders if it’s weird that they don’t already have a rule like that. They have rules about who’s allowed in the Dreamatorium (apartment residents only, no exceptions), rules about movie nights and DVD order and rules about whose turn it is to do which chores (introduced by Annie), but not this one. It never even occurred to Troy until today, which probably says a lot about the state of his sex life, or lack thereof.

Abed cocks his head to the side. “Okay,” he says. “What do you have in mind?”

In the end, they decide there’s no reason why Annie shouldn’t be allowed to have someone over if she wants to because she has her own bedroom, but that there should be no R or above rated activities in shared areas. And since the blanket fort is technically part of the living room and offers no actual privacy, he and Abed should keep all such activities out of the apartment. It gives Troy a brief feeling of satisfaction that quickly changes into something heavy and bitter, and he knows it’s not just because the rule means he’s not allowed to bring anyone home either.


	4. Chapter 4

**4**

“Where’s Abed?” Troy asks as he sits down next to Annie in the cafeteria one day in late January. The rest of the study group is already there, but Abed is nowhere to be seen.

“Over there, having lunch with a _fan,”_ says Britta. Troy follows the motion of her head and finds Abed sitting a few tables away, gesturing animatedly as he talks to a guy who has his back to Troy, so the only things Troy can see of him are broad shoulders in a crisp dark blue shirt and a messy man bun, but Troy can already tell he looks untrustworthy.

“That’s Diego Martinez,” Annie says excitedly, in the voice she usually reserves for saying things like ‘Zac Efron’ or ‘Mark Ruffalo’. “He’s in my philosophy class. He just came over here and said,” -- her voice drops to a lower register -- “‘Excuse me, are you Abed Nadir? I loved your documentary on the Dean’s descent into madness.’ Like Abed was an actual celebrity! You should’ve seen it, Troy, it was so adorable!”

“Trust me, that was just a pretext,” Britta says, nodding her head sagely. “I’ve seen that look on men’s faces before. They _say_ they like your work, but what they really mean is they’d like to see you out of that… well, hoodie.”

“Nice try getting us to believe you’ve ever done any work anyone could pretend to like,” Jeff remarks. Britta sticks out her tongue at him.

“I’m sure he’s just a nice boy who admires Abed’s movies, with no… inappropriate intentions,” Shirley says delicately.

“Hmm, I wouldn’t be so sure,” Pierce chimes in. “Britta’s right, that look only means one thing. It’s the same look Julie Newmar gave me right before she had her way with me in the backseat of --”

Everybody groans, except for Troy, who would rather hear about every single woman Pierce has supposedly banged than talk about Abed and his ‘fan’, which means that there’s something seriously wrong with him. 

“Guys, we should take this seriously,” Annie says, leaning forward a little and speaking in an insistent half-whisper. “Diego’s super sweet and he clearly likes Abed. This could be great for him! He’s never had a serious relationship, and I think it’s because he just doesn’t believe he’s cut out for one. We have to convince him, as his friends, that he deserves more than random one-night stands.”

“Oh Lord,” Shirley murmurs under her breath. 

“Annie, have you forgotten the last time we tried to meddle in Abed’s love life?” Jeff asks. “He can take care of himself, he doesn’t need our help.”

“I’m just _saying_ we need to be really supportive if there’s a chance this could develop! And that means,” Annie says with a meaningful look at Pierce and Shirley, “swallowing down any jokes or judgments we might be tempted to make. Because Abed is our friend and we want him to be happy. And if -- Troy? Where are you going? You haven’t eaten anything.”

“Yeah, I’m not feeling too well,” Troy mutters as he picks up his untouched tray, not meeting Annie’s doe eyes.

“Oh no, you poor thing, do you need me to drive you home?” Shirley offers.

“No, thanks. I think I just need some fresh air. I’ll see you guys later.”

Troy tries to make it out of the cafeteria without looking at Abed and Diego, but somehow his eyes are drawn to their table anyway. Abed’s talking and Diego’s hanging on his every word. Or maybe - probably - he’s just staring at Abed’s lips instead of actually listening to what he’s saying, that’s an easy mistake to make. Troy wants to walk by and accidentally-on-purpose spill his drink on Diego’s pretentious shirt.

He’s terrible. A terrible person and a terrible friend. Because Annie’s right, isn’t she? This could be great for Abed. Troy should want him to have a relationship if that’s what Abed wants, not feel disgusted at the prospect. He’s worse than Pierce and Shirley, isn’t he? Neither of them had to leave the table because seeing Abed even just talking to a guy made them want to throw up.

He needs to get a grip, he tells himself as he walks around the quad to clear his head. He can’t react like this every time he sees Abed with a guy, that could really damage their friendship. He has to keep himself in check. And with any luck, Diego will disappear without a trace in a few days, like everyone else Abed has ever been involved with, and maybe the next person Abed likes will be a girl.

Troy hates himself for wishing that, and the prospect doesn’t actually make him feel any better.


	5. Chapter 5

**5**

Diego doesn’t disappear. In the two weeks or so leading up to Valentine’s Day, Troy sees him and Abed together around campus several times, including one time when they’re kissing behind Borchert Hall and one time sneaking out of a storage closet, which Troy knows Abed thinks is a ‘classic place for sexual encounters in a public building’. Every time makes Troy want to puke.

He never asks Abed about Diego, and Abed never brings him up himself. That isn’t all that weird, it’s not like they’ve ever spent much time talking about anyone either of them (well, okay, mostly Abed) was seeing. But this time it feels different. It feels like maybe Diego’s becoming important to Abed, that maybe Abed likes him as more than a hook-up, and the fact that they’ve never even mentioned his name feels like they’re ignoring something huge, like there’s some kind of hole growing in the middle of their friendship and it’s all Troy’s fault.

He doesn’t know what he’ll do if Diego becomes Abed’s boyfriend, but he has a sinking feeling that it won’t be good.

When he enters the study room on February 13, Abed, Annie and Britta are already there, gathered around a teddy bear sitting on the table.

“Troy! Look what the Cupid Being brought for Abed!” Annie says in her I-love-butterflies voice. “It’s from Diego!”

Troy takes one look at the teddy bear, dressed in a Star Trek uniform and holding a tiny box of chocolates, and starts taking his books out of his bag.

“Cool,” he says, grateful that he manages to get the word out without gagging.

So this thing between Abed and Diego has clearly reached the Valentine’s Day gifts stage. That’s great. Just awesome. It definitely doesn’t make Troy feel like screaming.

“Are you getting him anything, Abed?” Annie asks. “You should!”

“I’m not sure that would be the right thing to do,” Abed says, examining the insignia on the bear’s uniform with a frown, and Troy feels a tiny flicker of hope.

“Why not?” says Britta. “I mean, you like him, right? He’s hot, sweet, likes movies, hot, great fashion sense--”

“Smart,” Annie pipes up, joining Britta in her obvious quest to kill Troy.

“-- probably ripped underneath those shirts, hot, I have to assume he’s a good lay --”

 _“Britta!”_ Annie gasps, but Abed just makes finger guns at Britta. Troy can feel his breakfast making a reappearance.

“-- _and_ he seems to think you’re the next Spielberg. That seems like a lot of reasons to be a slave to an over-commercialized holiday and get him some candy or whatever.”

“You said ‘hot’ three times,” Abed points out.

“It bears repeating,” Britta smirks.

“They’re selling roses right here in the hall, Abed,” Annie says helpfully. “You could buy some.”

“I don’t think that would send the right message,” Abed says. “He’s clearly got expectations I can’t meet, it wouldn’t be fair of me to make him believe I can.”

“Aww, Abed! Why couldn’t you? Don’t put yourself down!”

“That’s not really what I meant. And anyway, we should stop talking about this, it’s making Troy uncomfortable.”

Both girls turn to look at Troy and he wants to die even more than before, which is saying a lot.

“Oh no,” Britta fake-gasps. “Have we offended your delicate straight male sensibilities, Troy? Watch out, we might start talking about periods next.”

“I’m not uncomfortable!” Troy says, hating how squeaky his voice comes out. He doesn’t think he sounds very convincing.

“Don’t worry, Troy, I’m sure the Cupid Being will bring you something too,” Annie says kindly, completely misunderstanding Troy’s problem.

Luckily, Jeff, Shirley and Pierce walk in at that moment, already caught in an argument that Britta gets immediately involved in and Troy couldn’t care less about. He’s just grateful it takes the focus away from him, and Abed, and Abed’s stupid teddy bear. 

He _is_ uncomfortable. And what’s worse, Abed has noticed. Of course he’s noticed. If Troy doesn’t do something about it, and fast, there’s no way it won’t damage their friendship. He can’t let that happen. 

He has to do something.


	6. Chapter 6

**+1**

“Britta,” Troy hisses once the study group has broken up and Abed has left with his teddy bear, pursued by Annie, who was still trying to convince him to buy roses. “Can I talk to you?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

Troy waits until Pierce is out of earshot and says, “I need your advice.” Which, okay, probably wasn’t the best way to phrase that, given who he’s talking to. Britta’s eyes go wide and her entire face lights up.

“Of course, Troy, I am here for you, I’m ready to listen and help,” she says solemnly, a hand pressed to her chest. She sits back down in Abed’s chair. “Unburden yourself.”

“Okay, um,” Troy hedges for a moment, then decides to get straight to the point. “How do I stop being homophobic?”

Britta blinks at him. “Sorry, what?”

He tells her the whole thing, how seeing Abed with other guys makes him feel disgusted and how he hates himself for feeling like that, and to give her credit, Britta listens intently without interrupting. 

“And these are just guys Abed’s been fooling around with. What if he gets a real boyfriend, Diego or someone else, and I’m still a jerk about it? I need to find a way to stop feeling like this, Britta.”

There’s a moment of silence as Britta watches him thoughtfully.

“Troy,” she says eventually, “correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds to me like you’re just jealous.”

“No, I don’t think that’s it. I mean, yeah, Abed’s always been getting laid more than me, but it just doesn’t make any sense for me to react like this.”

“That’s not what I meant,” Britta says gently. “I meant that maybe you don’t mind that Abed’s with a guy. You mind that the guy he’s with _isn’t you.”_

Troy stares at her. “What?”

“Have you considered that you might be in love with Abed?”

“No. Wait, what? No. That’s not -- I’m not -- What? That’s impossible.” He should have asked someone else for advice. Britta is clearly crazy.

“Why would it be impossible?”

“I’m straight, for one, and -- and I never minded when Abed was with a girl.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Troy thinks back, and okay, maybe he was never exactly ecstatic about Abed’s hook-ups, but that was just because Abed was getting chicks when Troy wasn’t and he was having side adventures while Troy was at home watching TV, it wasn’t because -- it wasn’t… was it?

Something must show on his face, because Britta leans in and lays a gentle hand on his.

“Let’s try something, okay? Close your eyes.” Troy obeys. “Now, imagine Abed kissing a man.”

Troy doesn’t want to, but a very vivid image of Abed kissing Diego still forms in his mind immediately, the way he saw them behind Borchert Hall. 

“How does it make you feel?” Britta asks.

“I don’t know, angry,” Troy says. “Sad. Like I’m gonna be sick.”

“Okay. Now imagine Abed kissing a woman. How does that make you feel?”

Troy thinks about Abed kissing that secret service agent. He never saw that, and he’s not even sure if it actually happened, but it still makes him feel… _oh._

“The same,” he whispers. “Maybe less intense, but… the same.”

“Okay, now -- no, don’t open your eyes yet. Now imagine Abed kissing _you.”_

Troy remembers what kissing Abed felt like when they filmed the Kickpuncher sex scene, but he imagines Abed would kiss differently as himself than when he was in character. He imagines his fingers tangled in Abed’s hair, Abed’s soft lips pressing gently against his. Abed would kiss like he does everything he cares about: focused and careful and thorough, making Troy feel like the most important person in the whole world. And Troy would kiss back with just as much dedication, wanting to make Abed feel just as special, wanting to show him what he means to Troy...

“Oh my god,” he opens his eyes abruptly, “I’m in love with Abed!”

The second the realization hits him, it already feels like the most obvious thing in the world. Of course he’s in love with Abed, how did he never figure it out before? Abed is amazing and Troy’s favorite person in the whole world and Troy loves him more than anything, it would honestly make less sense for him _not_ to be in love with him. All the strange feelings he’s ever had around Abed suddenly don’t seem strange at all. Like the way he sometimes pretends to fall asleep on Abed’s shoulder when they’re watching a movie, just so he can stay cuddled up close to him for longer. The way he likes to smell Abed’s hair. The way he couldn’t be bothered to ask a girl out for well over a year. The way he feels like he shouldn’t look at Abed whenever he comes back from a run all flushed and sweaty but somehow he can’t keep himself from looking anyway and his throat dries out. The way seeing Abed with other people sucks, and seeing him with other guys sucks worse because it means that technically Abed could like him back, except he doesn’t…

He doesn’t.

“Troy?” Britta says tentatively. Troy had forgotten that she was even here. “Are you okay? I know this must be a lot to take in.”

That feels like an understatement. To sum up the epiphanies of the last… two minutes or so: he’s not homophobic, he’s gay. Or maybe not, like, 100% gay, but gay enough to be in love with a dude, which is kind of the only thing that matters right now, he can worry about the details later. He’s in love with his best friend. And said best friend is very obviously not interested in him like that.

“Britta,” he breathes, feeling tears prickling in the corners of his eyes. “What am I gonna do?”

“Well,” Britta says in a calm and composed manner that Troy can tell is costing her a lot of effort because she’s basically vibrating with excitement. “I’m going to find Annie and stop her from talking Abed into buying a whole bouquet of roses for Diego, and you’re going to take a minute to sort out your feelings, figure out what you want, and then talk to Abed.”

“You think I should tell him?”

“You need to tell him _something_ to explain your behavior,” Britta says. “Do you think this is a secret you’d be able to keep?”

“But what if he doesn’t -- I mean, he obviously doesn’t-- What if it just makes things weird? What if we stop being friends?” The idea is so terrible that just saying it out loud feels like a kick to the chest.

“Troy. Abed loves you. That’s obvious to anyone who’s ever spent more than five minutes with the two of you. I don’t know if it’s platonic or romantic, but he loves you, and he won’t stop being your friend even if he doesn’t feel the same,” Britta tells him gently, then adds in a more self-satisfied tone she evidently can’t contain, “That’s my professional opinion as a future licensed therapist that just facilitated your emotional breakthrough. But like I said: you should take a moment first to just think about what you feel and what you want.”

Troy nods dumbly. It feels like the world has turned upside down. “Thanks, Britta.”

“No problem.” She pats his hand, hesitates for a second and then asks: “Do you need a hug?”

“ _Yes please,”_ Troy agrees immediately. Britta stands up and wraps her arms around him.

“Everything will turn out okay, you’ll see,” Britta says as she pats his back. Troy isn’t sure he believes her, but hearing her say it still feels soothing. He holds her a little tighter.

“I’m already late for class,” Britta says when they break apart. “Will you be okay?”

“Yeah,” Troy agrees, even though he’s not sure at all. But he knows that Britta’s right and he probably needs to be alone for a minute. He has classes too, technically, but he knows he wouldn’t be able to focus anyway.

“Okay. But if you’re not, you can just text me and I’ll come find you.”

“Thank you. You’re the best.”

She smiles at him and blushes prettily. Once upon a time that would have probably done something for Troy, but now he just resolves to be nicer to her from now on, even when she’s being the worst.

He doesn’t go to lunch or to any of his classes. He sits alone in the study room for a while just because he doesn’t feel like he can move, and when he pulls himself together he goes hide in an unused classroom in the Language Arts building that he and Abed discovered during the first paintball game. Troy used to think it was probably haunted by the ghost of the teacher of whatever language used to be taught here, but they’ve been using it as their private hiding place for almost two years now and no ghost has attacked them, so Troy thinks it’s probably safe. He still says hello when he enters to let any potential ghosts know he comes in peace, just to be on the safe side.

Actually, Troy probably wouldn’t mind if a ghost was here today, as long as it wasn’t a vengeful one. At least it would be someone to talk to who could tell him what to do, although Troy’s not sure whether ghosts give reliable love advice.

The person he _really_ wants to talk to is Abed. He’s just discovered that he’s not straight and that he’s in love. These are huge things, and he wants to talk to his best friend about them. Only he can’t do that without revealing to Abed that it’s him he’s in love with, and he doesn’t know if that’s the right thing to do.

On the one hand, Britta probably has a point - he’s not sure if he would be able to keep something this big from Abed, especially since he’s clearly not good at dealing with Abed being with other people. But on the other hand, what if it makes things between them awkward? He knows that Britta’s right and Abed wouldn’t just suddenly stop being friends with him, but Troy’s feelings could make him uncomfortable and slowly create distance between them until they just… drifted apart. Troy feels on the verge of a panic attack just thinking about it.

As for the possibility of Abed liking him back… it’s just not very likely, is it? Abed is clearly interested in other people. Whether Troy tells him or not, he’ll just have to learn to cope with that without letting his jealousy get the better of him. Abed deserves a supportive friend no matter what.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been sitting there in the dim, dusty classroom, trying to sort out his thoughts, when the creaking sound of the door opening makes him jump. At first he thinks that the ghost must be real after all, but it’s just Abed, standing in the doorway and peering inside. Of course it’s Abed - Troy should have realized Abed would come looking for him.

“Troy?” he calls out, looking around the poorly lit room.

“Yeah,” Troy speaks from where he’s sitting on the floor in a shadowed corner, and Abed’s eyes find him. 

“You weren’t in biology and you didn’t reply to my texts,” Abed says, closing the door behind him and taking a few steps closer. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” Troy says, although he’s not entirely sure whether it’s spelled with an I or a Y. “Just needed some time to think.”

“Britta said you were ‘dealing with some stuff’.”

Oh God. “What did she tell you?” Troy asks, his voice unnaturally high as anxiety spikes in his stomach.

“Just that,” Abed says and Troy relaxes a little, “but she was acting… weird. Did something happen between you two?”

“No. She just… helped me with something.”

Abed shifts his weight from one foot to the other, hesitating. “Do you want me to go? It’s okay if you want to be alone.”

Troy sighs. Abed’s here and wanting to know what’s going on. He might as well get it over with. “No, stay.”

Abed sits down next to him, stretching his legs out long. Troy catches a whiff of his smell, familiar and comforting, and has to fight the impulse to burrow into Abed’s side. He’s always had that impulse, he realizes. Why did he never find it weird?

“Do you want to talk about it?” Abed asks softly.

It takes Troy a moment to answer, and Abed doesn’t push, he never does. He always gives Troy the time he needs to find his words.

“Yes,” he says eventually, “I just don’t know how.”

“Should I pretend to be you again?” Abed suggests. “So you could just talk to yourself.”

“No,” Troy says, shaking his head. “I want to talk to you, I just… I wish there was another you I could talk to before I talk to you-you.”

He knows it doesn’t make any sense, but Abed takes him seriously because he’s just amazing like that. 

“Like me from a different timeline?” he proposes. “I could try being Evil Abed, if you want.”

“No, not Evil Abed. But maybe Abed from one of the other timelines?” It could work. He could talk to Best Friend Abed before talking to Love Interest Abed, it would be the perfect solution.

“Okay,” Abed agrees readily. “Which one?”

“I don’t know, one where we’re, like, the bestest of best friends?”

Abed frowns. “That’s all the timelines. There’s no timeline where we don’t make it to the cover of _Friends Weekly.”_

Troy’s heart swells. He loves Abed _so much._ And he can’t actually separate Best Friend Abed from Love Interest Abed, because the main reason why he’s in love with him is because Abed is such a good friend to him. He deserves to get the same back from Troy. He gathers his courage and looks up to meet Abed’s eyes.

“Except in this timeline, I’m a dick about you and Diego. And you and… other people. Best friends shouldn’t do that.”

Troy can tell that Abed didn’t expect him to say something like that. He blinks and drops his gaze, turning his head to face his sneakers that are tapping against each other.

“We can still be best friends even if we aren’t always perfect,” he says eventually.

Troy watches Abed’s profile for a moment, the long line of his nose, one furrowed eyebrow, the corner of his mouth. Then he shifts to look straight ahead too, pulling his knees closer to his chest as he inhales deeply and takes the plunge.

“Can we still be best friends if one of us is in love with the other?”

The tapping of Abed’s feet stops. It seems like the entire world stops in the space between two heartbeats right after the sentence leaves Troy’s mouth. Troy doesn’t dare look at Abed.

“So you noticed,” Abed murmurs after what feels like an age, his voice very quiet.

“Yeah,” Troy forces himself to reply. “It can’t believe it took me this long. I didn’t -- wait, you knew?”

It makes horrifying sense. Abed often notices things that Troy doesn’t. Troy’s behavior probably corresponded to some TV thing about an oblivious guy mistaking jealousy for homophobia. Troy’s never seen anything like that, but he hasn’t seen nearly as many movies as Abed. Abed was probably able to tell straightaway, and the reason why he’s been seeing so many guys lately is because he’s been trying to let Troy know that he’s not interested…

“Of course I knew, how could I... not…” Abed trails off. Troy can see him from the corner of his eye, turning his face back to Troy. “Troy,” he says then, and his voice sounds different now, somehow… softer. “I’m talking about me.”

Troy turns his head abruptly. “What?”

Abed’s looking at him with wide eyes, he’s looking at him like he’s never looked at him before, gentle and open and hopeful.

“I’m in love with you,” Abed says in that same soft, tender tone. Troy’s breath catches in his throat. “That’s what I thought you’d noticed.”

Troy’s pretty sure that his brain just gives up at that point. Just this morning he didn’t even know he loved Abed, and now he does and Abed’s saying he loves him back and it’s just entirely overwhelming. 

“No, I… definitely didn’t notice that,” he breathes, trying to calm his suddenly racing heart. “I didn’t even notice _I_ was in love with _you_ until Britta facelifted my emotional breakthrough. I thought I was homophobic when seeing you with other guys made me want to throw up, but it turns out I just get really jealous. I’m sorry about how I acted.”

Abed lifts a hand and touches Troy’s cheek, feather-light. Troy shivers. Abed has never touched him like that. No one has ever touched him like that.

“None of them mattered. I was just trying to get over you,” Abed murmurs as his fingertips trace the line of Troy’s jaw. “It didn’t work very well.”

 _“Abed,”_ Troy sighs, because that’s the only word he’s capable of forming right now. Abed’s thumb brushes over his bottom lip, and then Abed leans in, and kisses him.

It’s soft and tentative at first, like Abed’s waiting for him to push him away, and when Troy doesn’t, he cups the back of Troy’s head and kisses him with more intent, and oh, _oh,_ it’s just like Troy imagined except somehow inexplicably even better, and that really shouldn’t surprise Troy because Abed is always better than expected. When Abed’s lips part under his, it feels like the moment he sometimes experiences when he’s dancing, when the music takes over and his body starts feeling like it’s moving without his input, guided by something so much larger than Troy. That’s what kissing Abed feels like, huge and all-consuming, filling every crevice of Troy’s body with something like champagne - fizzy and intoxicating but so much better tasting.

He’s light-headed with it when they eventually break apart. His lips tingle as they spread into a wide grin, and Abed’s answering smile is the best thing he’s ever seen. He nuzzles his nose against Abed’s, unwilling to move any farther away. Why did it take him so long to realize that this is all he’s ever wanted?

“What about Diego?” he asks when he remembers what prompted his epiphany.

“Nothing,” Abed says dismissively. “We talked. He said he wanted a boyfriend, I said I didn’t, so we decided it would be best if we parted ways.”

“You don’t want a boyfriend, then?”

“He wasn’t right for the role. _You,_ on the other hand…” Abed raises his eyebrows meaningfully.

Troy giggles - he can’t help it. Today has been so crazy, and he can tell he’ll probably need a moment later to recover from the rollercoaster of emotions, but right now he’s just _so happy._

“ _Yes,”_ he answers Abed’s unspoken question, and kisses him again.


End file.
